Canuck-ing

How can you tell if a Pinoy (Filipino) is also a Canuck (slang for Canadian), while he is visiting the Philippines? Eh?

First of, the Fil-Can or FlipCan would be uttering the famous Canuck word, "Eh" pretty often. In the US, the equivalent of this is the word " Huh," as in, " That movie is pretty gross, huh?" Now, often, when said by a Fil-Canadian would sound as " of TEN." S/he will also be heard saying the word , again as in ... " a GEYN."

Next, the Fil-Can will be spotted wearing those colorful souvenir t-shirt with signs such as " Toronto, Vancouver, Calgary, Manitoba, emblazoned at the front.

Third, the Fil-Can will be spotted wearing those Roots or Gap t-shirts or hoodies while browsing in the malls, or while bringing the whole family (tribu) to dinner.

He may also be wearing a baseball cap; s/he, getting a manicure and pedicure, as often as s/he can; and having liver spots and wrinkles removed at a famous dermatological-aesthetic spa/clinic. S/he may also see a dentist to have a denture replaced.

The wife will be shopping for gold jewelry and the husband for a LaCoste t-shirt and DVDs (Di-vi-di, di-vi-di) at Virra Mall.

A visit to the old American Air Base, Clark, will be in the agenda; beautiful Boracay or enchanting Palawan perhaps, if there's no tyhoon in the horizon.

If relatives are tagging along, the next destination could be just Baguio, which is pretty affordable if relatives number to be about thirty.

Then, there's the much written-about Divisoria, where the Fil-Can can splurge on the bargains, to bring back as pasalubongs to relatives and friends in Canada.

The Fil-Canuck may also visit the Old Intramuros for a mass or a short prayer at the old Spanish Cathedral.

A side trip to Fort Santiago, even a half-hour stay at the ancient fortress, could be enough to bring back old, sweet memories of one's youthful glee.

The Fil-Canuck will regal friends with tales of TTC (subway) rides, snow flurries from November to March, minus thirty degree temps, having watched all the Filipino shows via the TFC or the GMA cable, and his/her new Cherokee Jeep or Lexus.

S/he may also tell sad stories of working even on Christmas eve ( for some nannies) or working the graveyard shift during winter ( for some assembly and health care workers).

The Fil-Canuck will also tell jokes? or true stories of how humiliated s/he was when s/he was new in Canada: repeatedly asking a clerk where the men's/women's PANTS are located, and not being understood. "Oh, you mean, p_aen_tss, " the sales clerk said.

Or how one Fil guy repeatedly asked a TTC bus driver for direction, only to be pointed towards the coin/fare box near the driver's seat. The Fil-Canuck, then lowered his head towards the box, and asked, " where is Wellesley Street," thinking that the box was a microphone. A friend swore this really happened to one guy.

Of course, the Fil-Canuck will inhabit all the malls, from the SM's, Trinoma's, Greenbelt's and Mall of Asia, and go on an eating binge ( adobong hito, sinigang na baka, paksiw na ayungin, pritong biya, bibingka at puto bumbong, hopia sa Echague, pastillas de leche, tall glasses of halo-halo at SM, etc).

If one has many barkadas, inuman, will always be a part of a visit to the Philippines. The Fil-Canuck will have brought several bottles of whiskeys, and several cartons of Marlboro, for these particular neigbourhood parties.

If the true blue Canadian loves kayak-ing, the true blue Fil-Canuck loves karaoke-ing; s/he would gladly add a Celine Dion to his/her repertoire.

Author's Note: This article is not intended to insult nor denigrate anyone. It is mostly based on author's experience and observations.

Name Game

Ever wondered what it would be like if we humans can give ourselves our own first names?
By this, I mean postponing having a name until such a time when an individual is old enough to choose his/her own. Then our names can reflect who we really are or who we want to be.

It would be so fulfilling to have called yourself Robert or Roberto instead of Marianito, or a Samantha instead of a Simang, or even Alexandra rather than Kwatang (which was our pet name for our youngest sister when she was a toddler).

Rustom Padilla chose the unique name Bebe Gandanghari when he changed his persona to a she. In one article, she said Bebe stands for Binibini (Madame). I suspect that she, instead of the phrase-name Gandanghari (kingly beauty), wanted GandangReyna (queenly poise or beauty). Or it could be that she is Kapampangan and wanted to tell us that Gandanghari is really descriptive of her newfound female-ness, (gandang ari). Or a third conjecture is that she wanted to merge the old and the new personas she's got: Bebe (female gentleness) and Gandanghari (male beauty).

We Pinoys are fond of calling (binyagan) people names. If there were two Marianos in the neighbourhood, we would call one, Nanong Pandak, and the other Nanong Tangkad. Or if a Hilario was limping, we'd call him Hilario Pilayo.

Nene, a most common Pinoy nickname is almost unmanageable. In the street where I grew up, there were at least six girls named Nene. One, a daughter of a Chinese Dad, became known as Neneng Koreana; another one who lived by the riverbank, was called Neneng Ilog; a third one, grew up as Neneng Itay, because her Nanay was named Benita (Itay, for short) ; another one became Neneng Bebay, not because she could do syllabication(baybay) but because her Mom was my Aunt Ginoveva (Bebay). And of course, there's my own sister, called Neneng Goly (Goly from Gloria, the name of our dear mother).

Another naming- incident I can recall was when I was attending the university in Diliman. In our Spanish 11 class, there were two guys named Melchor. Our mean female instructor (Senorita GV) christened one, Melchor Guapo and the other, Melchor Feo. Yes, Melchor Guapo was good-looking allright, but Melchor Feo, was not bad-looking, merely, not as attractive as the Guapo. For one whole semester, Melchor Feo would be blushing. Poor guy could not hide his embarassment!

In the office where I worked last, I dealt with a lot of internationally-trained professionals, and because my name is not an English name, it ended up being mis-pronounced all the time. Filipinos would pronounce it correctly as Hener (Gener) but Canadians and Americans would pronounce it as Jen-ner. This is how it is generally pronounced by colleagues and new acquaintances. Others would pronounce it as Jiner (some French and Turkish) and one boss even called me Gue-ner ( as in Guer-rero or Gershwin), while others called me John.

And because one niece fondly refers to me as " Uncle Generous," I adopted it as my cybername as in mrgener_ous, but most family calls me Gene.