Monday, July 5, 2010

Decorum.

LEFT - TAKEN FROM NEWS PHOTO  "The pamanhikan begins with former Tarlac Congressman Jose Peping Cojuangco welcoming the Jaworskis as Mikee receives a bouquet of long stemmed roses from Dodot."

At the inauguration of the new Philippine President Noy Aquino, he observed protocol and decorum when he fetched outgoing President Gloria Arroyo from Malacanang.

It was also decorum that dictated Aquino to accord Arroyo respect inside the car, and on the podium (him offering Arroyo a hand in mounting and dismounting the elevated box).

And in his inauguration speech, Aquino also promised to restore decorum in the streets of Manila and of the entire country when he declared war against "wang wang, counter flow and tong."

And yesterday, Aquino told the public that he'd ask his cabinet to attend a seminar on improving the way it communicates with media.  Again, a show of decorum.

Decorum.  "The forms required by good breeding, or prescribed by authority, to be observed in social or official life; observance of the proprieties of rank and occasion; conventional decorum; ceremonial code of polite society.  Propriety of manner or conduct; grace arising from suitableness of speech and behavior to one's own character, or to the place and occasion; decency of conduct; seemliness; that which is seemly or suitable."  In Pilipino, it means "magandang asal, tamang pag-aasal."

Decorum has been sorely lacking in certain societies for so many years now.  No, let's not look macro, but go micro, and look at our own families.

Today's most children resent parental restrictions, admonitions and advice concerning proper behaviour.  They declare, "lumang uson na iyan," or "that's passe.

Take dating, for instance.  In days past, a male suitor would go to the female's house when courting (aakyat ng ligaw) ; woo not just the girl but the girl's parents, as well;  then, agree to a chaperon when dating; and finally, ask for the girl's hands in marriage in the formal "pamanhikan, elaborate with food and with the groom-to-be's parents and padrino (godfather) in tow.

In the rural areas, "pamanhikan," or asking for the bride-to-be's hands in marriage, even consists of doing favours for the girl's parents, like chopping wood (magsisibak ng kahoy), fetching water (mag-iigib ng tubig), bringing fresh milk from the barn (mag-gagatas ng kalabaw), and other menial errands for the girl's family. 

And in the more ancient past, the groom was expected to give a dowry to the bride's family.

It is not only in the Philippines where the elaborate custom of "pamanhikan," is done.  In India, though it's opposite, a dowry is given to the groom's family.

Although the Philippine courting scene and practises have changed through the years, and decorum has been largely ignored by some, there are still a large number of Filipinos who observe decorum, good manners and Philippine traditions.

For instance, the unique Pinoy tradition of kissing the hands of the elders (mano po) is still widely practised, "pakikisama," or buddy-system is still a norm, and "pag-galang sa magulang at matanda," or respect for parents and elders is generally expected of the young.

In courtship and marriage, the Filipino parents, no matter how modern they've become in practises, still continue to exact decorum and demand that their children get married properly. After all, marriage is not just a tradition but to most religions, a sacred ritual of uniting two people, and in civil societies, a ceremony to legally bind two parties, and accord them rights and privileges not normally present to common law relationships.

The dawning of the new Philippine presidency with its flair for decorum and decency has spawned hope for the millions of Filipinos. There is a feeling of resurgence of energy - of change, not just in governance, but in the state of affairs of Filipino families -  economically, spiritually and in the over all betterment of the Filipino. 




No comments: