Ancient Blocks.

Opening up a new Philippine bank account recently was a nightmarish experience.  I closed my old account in one bank, and opened a third currency account in another.

It was different this second time. Previously, I encountered no hurdles; this time, blocks had been erected for my entry.

The bank required two pieces of I.D. from among many (passport, postal I.D., driver's license, NBI clearance, etc), a billing statement and a 1 X 1 photo.  Why a billing statement?  It was to prove that I live where I said I live.  But wouldn't a local driver's license show that?  Apparently not. 

But why should the bank care where I live?  If I leave my money in a bank, isn't that the best guarantee that I would show up and never disappear?  Or could it be that a bank needs to know its customers' exact location lest they are just doing money laundering?  

I asked my niece who's an assistant branch manager at an old bank, "would a foreign driver's license do,?"  She said yes.

Before this, I went to the bank and presented a postal I.D. and a cedula.  No can do; the new accounts teller told me to get a Philippine driver's license.

So, I tried to obtain a local license because my old one has expired, and then again, I tried to convert my foreign license to a Philippine-issued.  But before this, I had to wait for my new permanent foreign license in the mail as I only brought in a temporary one, having left Canada days after I renewed it. 

So, it took me at least two months before all the documents got into place. 

Then I returned to the bank of choice and the teller announced I should go to a special branch which takes care of third currency accounts.  I asked, what else to bring?  "Your passport, Sir, and there would be no hassles."

That special branch was hard to find, but I located it anyway.  I was there at around 2:30 p.m. .and got out at 15 minutes to five.  But that was after the new accounts girl made me fill out and sign the application form, and accepted my cheque, and then at 4:30 p.m. announced that I should deposit an extra $650 Canadian dollars (the maintaining balance), because my cheque would clear up in three weeks.  But I should buy the notes outside because the bank cannot sell to someone who has just opened up a third currency account. 

It was a Friday, and the bank does not open on Saturdays, so it meant I had to go back the following Monday.

She even said that was a new policy; before they just deposit my cheque and credit my account once it has cleared.

While sitting in front of the new accounts, and watching the girl write and talk to her bank mates, I could not help but recall my banking in Canada.  Yes, I am also frustrated doing in-person banking most of the time over there, but never in my life have I waited two hours just to open an account. If one were applying for a mortgage, or opening an investment account, the most waiting and completion time one will encounter is about thirty minutes.  

But this tale pales in comparison to another bank I first went into.  Another old, established bank told me to open an account not in their branch but in a branch near my house. "Is this branch convenient for you, Sir," the teller asked.  I said, "yes, I do my shopping here." 

Once she gave me the bank requirements, I exited and vowed never to return. 

I once had a tiff with a Canadian clerk who just opened up a payment line and accepted to serve a customer who butted in line ahead of me.  I asked him, " is the color of her money different from mine?"

Money, banks. They get your money, make money out of it, then give you peanuts in interest, or they close shop taking your money with them.